Friday, December 10, 2010

One of those uncomfortable topics

This past weekend a very good friend of mine had to say goodbye to the family dog.  He was quite old, he was not in great health, and unfortunately he was losing his mental faculties.  It was very sad, heart wrenching even, to 'watch' through status updates on Facebook as the date and time approached when she would say her final goodbye.  But so many of us understood her pain, and the difficult choice that she had made to peacefully end her beloved pet's life.  With a simple injection, all pain and suffering for the dog would end, and the grieving process could start.  This is an emotionally draining, but humane and loving choice that many of us pet owners make to ease the end of life pain and suffering.

I think it is fair to say that there are very few people that would argue against having a pet put to 'sleep' when the time comes that their quality of life has diminished, or their pain from illness is too great.  In fact, I have never once encountered someone who has said that they believe that euthanasia is bad or wrong for beloved pets.   I am sure they exist, and I am sure that by posting this on an open forum someone who believes this will find me and send me their thoughts!  But for the most part I am confident in saying a majority of North American society believes that it is the right and humane thing to do.

What I can't understand is why a society that believes it is right and good to end the pain and suffering of Scruffy or Fido or Peaches or Tabby can not seem to believe that it is also right and good to allow the pain and suffering for Mum or Dad or Aunt Jo or Uncle Dar to end?

Now before you go and get all angry and upset and fire off an email or post a comment telling me I am wrong please let me make a couple of things clear.  First and foremost I am talking about assisted suicide.  I am not talking about making it legal for people to off Aunt Ethel who is 88, healthy as a horse, but living in a nursing home and deemed a complete financial drain on her insensitive, selfish family.  There is a very clear and distinct difference.  I am talking about assisted suicide.  I want to make that clear because of the negative publicity and the negative images that the word euthanasia conjures up, even though in essence assisted suicide and euthanasia are the same thing.

Here are two definitions of euthanasia, the first one from a science dictionary, the second from a law dictionary:

euthanasia The act or practice of painlessly ending the life of an animal or a willing individual who has a terminal illness or incurable condition, as by giving a lethal drug.
The American Heritage® Science Dictionary
Copyright © 2002. Published by Houghton Mifflin. All rights reserved.

Main Entry: eu·tha·na·sia
Pronunciation: "yü-th&-'nA-zh&
Function: noun
:  the act or practice of killing or permitting the death of hopelessly sick or injured persons in a relatively painless way for reasons of mercy called also mercy killing  — eu·tha·na·sic /-'nA-zik, -sik/ adjective
Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

Notice that there is very little difference between the two sources.  Both of these sources indicate that euthanasia is the act of killing someone who is terminally ill or injured.  But both definitions imply that the act of killing would be done by someone other than the individual who is ready to 'say goodbye.'
Now this:

assisted suicide definition

Function: n
:  suicide by an individual facilitated by means or information (as a gun or indication of the lethal dosage of a drug) provided by someone else aware of the individual's intent
especially : physician-assisted suicide
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2007 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Not a big difference is there?  In fact, when put in front of you like that, euthanasia sounds better than assisted suicide.  But essentially they are the same thing, except for in the eyes of the general public.  I could spend the rest of this blog arguing about perceptions and preconceived notions with ease - after all it is something I love to rant about - but that is not the point I want to make.  So let's start with a bit of reprogramming.  From here on out I shall refer to this end of life act as Assisted Suicide and NOT euthanasia in order to help change your thinking patterns.  In our minds euthanasia already carries with it the idea of someone ELSE choosing when to end your life for you.  While anything with 'suicide' in the title is not pleasant, at least our over-active human brains put the power in the hands of the individual, which is what I believe is important.
In North America assisted suicide is only legal in three States (Oregon, Washington and Montana).  It is not legal any where in Canada, despite attempts this past year to change the laws in Quebec. These are LAWS with very define parameters, put in place to allow individuals to die with dignity, inside of wasting away in pain or suffering for months.  Yet each time this idea is put forth by any State or Province the right wing conservatives start with their fear mongering in order to ensure that these laws don't become accepted.

There was a time when I would have gladly jumped on the band wagon of saying no to assisted suicide.  I can remember in the 1990's when Dr. Jack Kevorkian was all over the news.  He was made into a monster by the media and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.  I believed that he was an evil horrible man that deserved to spend much more time in prison than he did.  I would gladly tell people what I thought, should they ask me my opinion, and I said it with all the confidence and the self-righteous air that many people in their 20's have, when death and illness is not something you think about.

I am not conscious of when my opinion started to change.  I can not sit here and say that there was one event, or the illness of one person that made me change my mind.  But it definitely started changing.  Five years ago if you had asked me my opinion on assisted suicide, I probably would not have had such a strong opinion.  I would not have been able to tell you with absolute confidence why it was wrong.  In fact, I probably would had trouble telling you which side I believed was right.

Then circumstances in my life were such that I researched assisted suicide laws.  While I researched I thought about what it would be like.  How it would feel to be trapped in your own body, a body that is slowly giving up on you; incapable of taking care of yourself, of sound mind, but slowly wasting away, and more than likely in pain.  And if that isn't enough, while this occurs you have the added bonus of watching the hurt and the sorrow in the eyes of your loved ones as they slowly watch you waste away.  Is that really what I would want?

After reading and researching I learned a lot of things.  I learned that the laws are written very well, and they are written to protect the individual.  I learned that no one could choose to off Aunt Ethel when THEY believed it was time.  I learned that more than one doctor had to deem someone terminally ill in order for it to be legal to have the drugs given to you.  And I learned that even in places where the law exists, in 50% of the cases people choose not to go through with 'it' after they have been prescribed the proper 'cocktail' and that is perfectly all right.

Saying goodbye to someone you love is never easy.  That will never change.  But knowing that your loved ones have a bit of control does bring a certain amount of peace to me.  We don't argue when people choose to have a 'do not resuccitate' order when they are ill, is that not essentially the same thing?

Death with dignity is something that we should all consider, specially with terminal illness rates on the increase.  Take some time, read up on it.  Get the facts and ask questions.  I wouldn't be surprised if you saw a shift in you opinion as well....

On a side note if you get the chance, do some reading on Dr. Kevorkian, or watch the movie 'You Don't Know Jack.'  Dr. Kevorkian was eccentric, which did little to help his public image.  But his reasoning was sound, as was the reasoning and logic of his patients and their families.

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