Open Letter to 'Customers'

Dear Ignorant Patron:

Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence today and sharing your overwhelming wisdom.  I am so glad that I was fortunate enough to be here to take your abuse, not because you were provided with sub-standard service, but merely because of your apparent belief that you are above anyone that works in any service industry.

There are many things I would have liked to say to you today, however despite the fact that you believe I have no value and I work in a dead-end brainless job, I actually ENJOY my job, and therefore had to hold my tongue, lest I cross the line and leave my employers no choice but to fire me.  Given the chance, the following are just a few highlights of what I would have said to you:

At the end of the day when I leave work, I take off my uniform knowing that I worked hard.  I am not defined by my job, and with or without my uniform I am still a valued mother/sister/daughter/wife/friend/aunt.   At the end of the day, you can change your clothes, but you are still an ignorant asshole.

There is nothing in my job description that says because I work in customer service, it is ‘part of my job’ to put up with your offensive language, childish yelling, insults and rage.  In fact if you were as educated and worldly as you indicated, you would know that the Canadian Labour Laws clearly state that I do not have to put up with abuse of any kind.  Good luck getting service or assistance next time you come here.

Throwing your trash on the ground ‘because they pay someone to clean up’ and because ‘you are helping some moron earn a living’ is wrong.  Throwing your trash on the floor just shows how low-class you are, and helps to create service slow downs when someone has to clean up after your boorish behaviour.

Thank you for letting me know that if I had a real education I could get a ‘real job.’  For the record, I have an education, and I actually choose to do this job.  Many of my co-workers also have an education, but choose to be here because of flexible hours or because they also enjoy the work.  Some of my co-workers are paying for their education by working this job.   Some are young, and this is their first job, which is providing them with spending money and valuable life experience.   Some have learning disabilities, but have managed to learn, succeed and excel.  All of us work hard, and earn our pay cheque, and none of that gives you the right to judge any of us.

We in the service industry continually do our best to provide you with what you require in a fast and courteous manner.  Sure, there are exceptions to this.  Like life, no industry is without its duds.  If you have received sub-standard service anywhere, there are proper channels through which you can make a complaint and attempt to have the situation rectified.  Going off half-cocked at the front line worker, who may or may not be responsible for the issue, and who may or may not be able to solve it, just makes you a jerk.  The sun does not shine out of your ass, your shit does stink, and the fact that you are a paying customer does not make you a 'better' human being than I.

Thank you for reading,

The many hundreds of thousands of service industry workers that are exhausted with juvenile abuse from customers.

Riots? Really people?

I am sure this first statement will make people mad at me.  I know it is not a popular view.  But I did say it to a few people before Wednesday night, and it bothers me that I was right.

There were going to be riots, whether Vancouver lost or won. 

I would love to sit here and say that I am surprised at the extent of the damage.  I would love to say I am so shocked that some of my fellow British Columbians would take part in this despicable behavior.  I would like to say that I never expect anything like this to ever happen again.  I can not say any of that.

I knew that there were going to be riots.  Had my daughters asked to go to Vancouver for the final game, the answer would have been a resounding NO.  There is no way that I would have allowed them to be there, despite the fact that they are both intelligent, responsible, aware, lovely young women.  Knowing that the riots were going to occur did nothing to change the feelings of dismay, horror, sadness, embarrassment and frustration as we watched the destruction.

What I did not expect was how profoundly these riots affected my mood on Thursday; and I was not alone in that.   There was a gray cloud that hung over B.C yesterday and it had nothing to do with the weather.  It didn’t matter where in the province you lived; you felt it and you saw it everywhere.

Floating in that cloud are questions, and undeniably the loudest, most asked question is: WHY??

I have sat and looked at hundreds of photos.  I have watched hours of video footage.  I had to stop because it made me so sad, and so scared for the future.   As I watched, the one thing that I noticed was that in a majority of cases the individuals committing these acts were male, between 18-29 years of age, seemly well dressed (Canucks jerseys are NOT cheap) so one can presume they are not from the marginalized population.  If I wanted to be stereotypical I would call them ‘poor little rich kids.’  That is not to say that everyone show on tap comes from an affluent house/neighbourhood/upbringing.  And that is also not to say it was only 18-19 year old males that took part in this.

So what it is that is going on that makes it acceptable in the minds of these individuals, specifically this age group, that they feel that this type of behavior is ok?  Don’t get me wrong, this twisted mindset is not new to me.  Keep in mind what I do for a living.  I am faced with what I can only call an attitude of entitlement on a regular basis.  In the past when I managed student residences we continually saw a lack of responsibility, a lack of concern from some individuals for damages, and most times it was deemed as ‘hilarious.’  How have we moved so far backwards as a society that today’s youth basically find joy and pleasure in the ‘rape and pillage’ mindset of centuries ago?

I have theories.  I have sure many people have theories...we could debate, share, argue, brainstorm and so on about all the theories…De-sensitization due to mass media and entertainment, children growing up with more because they are given more by their parents (done with the best of intentions), the glamorization of thugs, society failure to ensure children learn personal responsibility (our school system becomes more and more of a joke each day).  All of these and many more can be pointed to as reasons.  But in the end who cares what the reasons are? 

When are we going to fix it?  When are we, as a society, going to stand up and say enough?  When will we stop the bullying at ALL levels, starting with the government?  When will we as Canadians start to take a stand, to speak our minds, to get control back of our towns, our provinces and our country?  It is only through this that things will start to change.  Enough with apathy.  Time to stand up and give a damn.  Time to care about your neighbour, your city your country.  Time to make the government accountable at all levels.  And time to make individuals accountable for their individual actions.

Time to wake up Canada.  We live in one of the best countries in the world.  We have so many rights and freedoms.  This is a democracy; we have the chance to say our piece.   Yet we choose to riot over SPORTS?  

One of those uncomfortable topics

This past weekend a very good friend of mine had to say goodbye to the family dog.  He was quite old, he was not in great health, and unfortunately he was losing his mental faculties.  It was very sad, heart wrenching even, to 'watch' through status updates on Facebook as the date and time approached when she would say her final goodbye.  But so many of us understood her pain, and the difficult choice that she had made to peacefully end her beloved pet's life.  With a simple injection, all pain and suffering for the dog would end, and the grieving process could start.  This is an emotionally draining, but humane and loving choice that many of us pet owners make to ease the end of life pain and suffering.

I think it is fair to say that there are very few people that would argue against having a pet put to 'sleep' when the time comes that their quality of life has diminished, or their pain from illness is too great.  In fact, I have never once encountered someone who has said that they believe that euthanasia is bad or wrong for beloved pets.   I am sure they exist, and I am sure that by posting this on an open forum someone who believes this will find me and send me their thoughts!  But for the most part I am confident in saying a majority of North American society believes that it is the right and humane thing to do.

What I can't understand is why a society that believes it is right and good to end the pain and suffering of Scruffy or Fido or Peaches or Tabby can not seem to believe that it is also right and good to allow the pain and suffering for Mum or Dad or Aunt Jo or Uncle Dar to end?

Now before you go and get all angry and upset and fire off an email or post a comment telling me I am wrong please let me make a couple of things clear.  First and foremost I am talking about assisted suicide.  I am not talking about making it legal for people to off Aunt Ethel who is 88, healthy as a horse, but living in a nursing home and deemed a complete financial drain on her insensitive, selfish family.  There is a very clear and distinct difference.  I am talking about assisted suicide.  I want to make that clear because of the negative publicity and the negative images that the word euthanasia conjures up, even though in essence assisted suicide and euthanasia are the same thing.

Here are two definitions of euthanasia, the first one from a science dictionary, the second from a law dictionary:

euthanasia The act or practice of painlessly ending the life of an animal or a willing individual who has a terminal illness or incurable condition, as by giving a lethal drug.

The American Heritage® Science Dictionary

Copyright © 2002. Published by Houghton Mifflin. All rights reserved.

Main Entry: eu·tha·na·sia
Pronunciation: "yü-th&-'nA-zh&
Function: noun
:  the act or practice of killing or permitting the death of hopelessly sick or injured persons in a relatively painless way for reasons of mercy called also mercy killing  — eu·tha·na·sic /-'nA-zik, -sik/ adjective

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

Notice that there is very little difference between the two sources.  Both of these sources indicate that euthanasia is the act of killing someone who is terminally ill or injured.  But both definitions imply that the act of killing would be done by someone other than the individual who is ready to 'say goodbye.'

Now this:

assisted suicide definition

Function: n
:  suicide by an individual facilitated by means or information (as a gun or indication of the lethal dosage of a drug) provided by someone else aware of the individual's intent
especially : physician-assisted suicide

Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2007 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

Not a big difference is there?  In fact, when put in front of you like that, euthanasia sounds better than assisted suicide.  But essentially they are the same thing, except for in the eyes of the general public.  I could spend the rest of this blog arguing about perceptions and preconceived notions with ease - after all it is something I love to rant about - but that is not the point I want to make.  So let's start with a bit of reprogramming.  From here on out I shall refer to this end of life act as Assisted Suicide and NOT euthanasia in order to help change your thinking patterns.  In our minds euthanasia already carries with it the idea of someone ELSE choosing when to end your life for you.  While anything with 'suicide' in the title is not pleasant, at least our over-active human brains put the power in the hands of the individual, which is what I believe is important.

In North America assisted suicide is only legal in three States (Oregon, Washington and Montana).  It is not legal any where in Canada, despite attempts this past year to change the laws in Quebec. These are LAWS with very define parameters, put in place to allow individuals to die with dignity, inside of wasting away in pain or suffering for months.  Yet each time this idea is put forth by any State or Province the right wing conservatives start with their fear mongering in order to ensure that these laws don't become accepted.

There was a time when I would have gladly jumped on the band wagon of saying no to assisted suicide.  I can remember in the 1990's when Dr. Jack Kevorkian was all over the news.  He was made into a monster by the media and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.  I believed that he was an evil horrible man that deserved to spend much more time in prison than he did.  I would gladly tell people what I thought, should they ask me my opinion, and I said it with all the confidence and the self-righteous air that many people in their 20's have, when death and illness is not something you think about.

I am not conscious of when my opinion started to change.  I can not sit here and say that there was one event, or the illness of one person that made me change my mind.  But it definitely started changing.  Five years ago if you had asked me my opinion on assisted suicide, I probably would not have had such a strong opinion.  I would not have been able to tell you with absolute confidence why it was wrong.  In fact, I probably would had trouble telling you which side I believed was right.

Then circumstances in my life were such that I researched assisted suicide laws.  While I researched I thought about what it would be like.  How it would feel to be trapped in your own body, a body that is slowly giving up on you; incapable of taking care of yourself, of sound mind, but slowly wasting away, and more than likely in pain.  And if that isn't enough, while this occurs you have the added bonus of watching the hurt and the sorrow in the eyes of your loved ones as they slowly watch you waste away.  Is that really what I would want?

After reading and researching I learned a lot of things.  I learned that the laws are written very well, and they are written to protect the individual.  I learned that no one could choose to off Aunt Ethel when THEY believed it was time.  I learned that more than one doctor had to deem someone terminally ill in order for it to be legal to have the drugs given to you.  And I learned that even in places where the law exists, in 50% of the cases people choose not to go through with 'it' after they have been prescribed the proper 'cocktail' and that is perfectly all right.

Saying goodbye to someone you love is never easy.  That will never change.  But knowing that your loved ones have a bit of control does bring a certain amount of peace to me.  We don't argue when people choose to have a 'do not resuccitate' order when they are ill, is that not essentially the same thing?

Death with dignity is something that we should all consider, specially with terminal illness rates on the increase.  Take some time, read up on it.  Get the facts and ask questions.  I wouldn't be surprised if you saw a shift in you opinion as well....

On a side note if you get the chance, do some reading on Dr. Kevorkian, or watch the movie 'You Don't Know Jack.'  Dr. Kevorkian was eccentric, which did little to help his public image.  But his reasoning was sound, as was the reasoning and logic of his patients and their families.

Oh Internet ....

I have a huge pet peeve.  Well, OK let's be honest - depending on the day and my mood I sometimes have a LOT of huge pet peeves.  But today, one in particular is chaffing my ass!

I have been online for quite a while.  I have seen all the emails.  I will admit that I even fell for a few of them once in awhile.  I feared that my tooth paste and my shampoo might be giving me cancer because an email SAID SO!  I may have forwarded an email about a poor dying girl's last wish to receive hundreds of Christmas cards form around the world.  I know that when I was first online I DID fall for a few of these things.  But that was over 15 years ago now.  I believe that my forwarding this stuff was from pure, beautiful ignorance.

However like anything in life, the more time I spent online, the more I learned.  I learned that all that I read on the Internet is not gospel truth.  I learned that I could find web pages that would support any thought I had, and just as many that would dispute it.  I then quickly learned that any crackpot or freak could create a web page.  This taught me to research, to check sources, and to pay attention.  Now granted I will admit that I am a bit of a cynic at heart, and therefore (much to my parents dismay I am sure) it is my nature to question everything.  I would also be willing to bet that one of my friends that had been online for longer than I, more than likely pointed me towards the sites that are created to debunk Internet bullshit.  But learn I did!

Now after 15+ years online I get frustrated when I receive emails that are nothing more than pretty lies or, even worse, out-right fear-mongering.  I will give people the benefit of the doubt, and I will send them a polite email explaining that what they have decided to forward is untrue.  I will include a link to a reputable site, after all I don't want them to have to take my word for it.  I will then suggest that in the future they might want to take the few minutes to check these things out for themselves.  After all, the world is a better place for all when it contains less fear and fewer lies.  Chances are pretty good that it will happen again from the same person, and I will go through the same polite process.  By the third or fourth time that it happens, I usually send them a polite email asking that they take me off of their forward list, and explain why.  If that doesn't work, I have become fond of the block feature - though truth be told I think I have only blocked 2 people for this reason, and much to my dismay one of them keeps sneaking past the block feature! 

Then came Facebook.  Instant information.  Information shared instantly to however many people you have on your friends list.  BAM!  It is just that quick.  Facebook has also brought many people who have never been overly active online to the Internet.  How many of us, who are already middle aged, also have parents with Facebook pages?  It is a crazy, beautiful, wonderful thing.  And it is making me insane!

In a matter of minutes I can open my Facebook page and see the same crap from 1/3 of my friends list!  It doesn't matter if that information makes sense or is true.  Someone said it, so it must be good, it MUST be true!  Why would anyone EVER take the 30 seconds to think before they post??

Then on top of the ever growing pile of crap and lies, fear-mongering and ridiculousness, we have people determined to change the world by updating their status.  While I applaud the desire to bring about change, really people?  Changing my status to bring about change is about as effective as sleeping with a gym membership under my pillow in order to bring about weight loss!  Then to have people imply that I 'don't care' because I choose not to engage in a meaningless action really annoys the hell out of me!  Then some wise ass, somewhere, decides it would be a hoot to take a meaningless post, and attach a meaning to it that will induce fear in the masses!  Yep, that is right.  That cartoon picture you changed in order to 'support the stop of child abuse' is actually an invitation to pedophiles.  QUICK!  Tell all your friends NOW!  Don't stop to think.  Do NOT take time to check it out!  Don't research it!  Tell your friends NOW!  This will definitely help the cause you so passionately believe in.

Folks here are two wonderful sites:
http://www.snopes.com/
http://www.thatsnonsense.com/

Bookmark them.  No, seriously - go and bookmark them NOW!  I can wait....

Got it? 

Now, in the future when you read something that makes you think 'OH MY!  Who would do that??'  or 'Wow!  That is soooo unbelievable!' take the 30-90 seconds it takes to verify that the information you are about to spread is in fact TRUE.  If it is earth shattering news and it can not be verified by reputable web sources, chances are it is not true!

If you want to bring about change in this world, spending 30 seconds updating your status is probably not the way to start.  Chances are if you are sitting in front of your computer, on Facebook, life is generally pretty good for you.  I am not saying that we are all flush with money, and dancing under sunshine and rainbows - seriously, I live in a double wide trailer, I do not roll on a bed of money when I am bored.  But if you have time to waste on Facebook, chances are you are living somewhere in the mostly happy middle.  So why not save all of those 30 second updates that wont do much to make change, and once or twice a year donate that time to truly help.  http://www.volunteer.ca/ has a directory of volunteer organizations, and I know from experience that all of these organizations are ALWAYS looking for help!  Maybe you are like a lot of people, struggling to balance family, work, sports, social life, house cleaning, and so on and so on.  Maybe you don't have the time to donate.  Why not go without that afternoon Tim's or Starbucks for a week, and then take that money and give it to a cause that you so believe in.  Maybe it will only be $10.  But at the end of the day that is $10 more that an organization will have, and all those 'little' donations sure do add up!

One last thought, and then I will let this rant go for now.  Lately I have seen many people with an update that Cancer patients only have one wish, to get better.  As someone that is slowly watching her mother lose her battle to Cancer, I can not explain how angry that statement makes me, and I can only imagine what it does to my Mum.  Yes, my mother is terminal. Yes, there is nothing that she would like more than to wake up tomorrow and know that she is going to win, and Cancer will lose.  But to imply that that is her only wish is really quite rude and ignorant.  My Mum has many wishes!  She has many dreams and just as many hopes.  To imply that she has only one is to reduce the meaning of her life to nothing but the Cancer.  How would you like your life defined by the illness that will eventually kill you?

C'mon people, we are all adults. Don't you think it is about time we think before we post?